Thursday, February 27, 2014

What Do I Look Like, The Nate Silver Surfer ?

 Hey! Bristol based, Disney owned, sports broadcasting megalopolis!
What does ESPN stand for again ? Eastern Seaboard Pandering Nightly ?
Your main dotcom page's poll question today was a four choice query regarding the Mets projected win/loss record this season. Not on your MLB page, your home page.
We are two games into spring training. I have no idea what I think about my favorite team yet!
I could understand if Fox Sports was doing an alphabetized breakdown of every MLB team and started with the Mets, or if I was on Peter Gammons Been In More Dugouts Than David Sunflower Seeds Blog , but this is your main page. Is the average American sports fan supposed to know what the Mets are gonna be dealing with in September ? I'm a Tiger fan, and I haven't even identified the hot dog vendor, clubhouse boy and press box IT intern who Dave Dombrowski traded Doug Fister for!
Curtis Granderson hasn't even had a chance to visit Joseph Simmons' boyhood home in Queens, much less predict how many games the Mets are gonna win.
                                            DMC is wearing a Giants jacket. Even he doesn't 
                                                care about the Mets.

Why is that supposed to be something the rest of us are supposed to just fill out in 10 seconds like our Keno slips at Danny's Irish Pub ?
You know your fancy little offshoot, ESPN New York ? Post that question on there, not on the one that's supposed to appeal to the rest of the world. The last time anyone outside of Flushing gave a damn about the Mets is when Roger Clemens was whipping jagged pieces of northern white ash at Mike Piazza's northern white ass, and that's only because we were tired of Roidger's macho high school jock posturing and not because we loved their soap opera of a baseball team and its albino medicine ball mascot. Or put it in the Port St. Lucie News, not on my computer screen.
One of the reasons there is such a backlash on New York sports teams around the country is that you assholes are constantly breaking out the Big Apple knee pads for the Yankees and Mets and Nets and Jets and Red Bullettes.
It's February. I don't know which aging, overrated Tiger leadoff hitter is gonna get picked off first with a 3-1 count on Miguel Cabrera on Opening Day, don't frickin' ask me about what's gonna happen to anybody else 162 games from now.
.


2 comments:

  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dCQmlQtWxw

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I love how their fans boo every first round draft choice.

      Delete