Wait a second, Olympics… As Lee Corso would say (or as Richard Petty would say about Danica Patrick): "Not so fast".
There can't be softball in the Olympics because not enough people around the world play it, and the US is too dominant?
"Nordic Combined ?"
I think one of the shell casings went down
the back of my ski pants.
Yeah, it's heartwarming to see all those Pakistani kids shining shoes at the airport to afford more lift tickets to get on the ski jump and sharing cross country ski wax.
I live in Michigan, okay, and we have a big ass (that's metric, right ?) ski jump in the Upper Peninsula. I've lived here most of my life and I know exactly zero people who have ever gone on it.
I have about 4000 Facebook friends, give or take, and I could post right now "Have any of you ever wrestled a bear for money in a strip club built in an abandoned copper mine in the U.P., and if not any of my pals had, I guarantee one of their cousins did and has pictures. But no one I know or am separated from by Six Degrees of Canadian Bacon has ever skied down that jump, flown through the air and lived to go squirrel hunting that afternoon. That's what Nordic Combined is, isn't it ? A really dangerous way to get to a squirrel hunt ?
But lets say I won the lottery and bought a cabin up there and a helicopter to get to it.You know what we'd do ? Get drunk and play table tennis in my cabin, that's what. Then one of us would get good enough to go to the Olympics and he'd go and finish last, behind all 62 countries in Asia. But table tennis is still a sport in the Olympics! Is there a weird by-law in the Olympic charter that says you'll never eliminate any sport dominated by a nation with a monosyllabic language ?
Because discupelme, pro favor, but I have yet to see a ticker tape parade for the table tennis gold medalist through the streets of La Paz, comprende ?
Let's be serious, lots of people skate, but not too many figure skate. You don't go down to Campus Martius and see Nick from the induction molding department bangin' a few triple axles for fun before he heads to the Golden Grease to salchow down. But at least we sorta do it. No one who hasn't skipped school to get juonut on sahti with their favorite hottie in the Arctic Circle has ever purposely gone flying off a perfectly solid observation deck and then slalomed around the woods riddling outhouses with lead. We can't have softball, but they can have that ? One nation isn't dominant you say ? What? Do the Finns and Danes and Norwegians politely pass the Gold and Silver medals around every year, and whoever has the most umlauts in their last name takes home the bronze?
So here's one vote for softball to come back. Not because I'm a big softball fan, but because they got the boot for a bogus reason.
And I don't want Nordic Combined to be completely eliminated. I want it to be moved to the Paralympic Games. Because this guy would be bad ass at it, and bring home gold for the U.S.:
There can't be softball in the Olympics because not enough people around the world play it, and the US is too dominant?
"Nordic Combined ?"
the back of my ski pants.
Yeah, it's heartwarming to see all those Pakistani kids shining shoes at the airport to afford more lift tickets to get on the ski jump and sharing cross country ski wax.
I live in Michigan, okay, and we have a big ass (that's metric, right ?) ski jump in the Upper Peninsula. I've lived here most of my life and I know exactly zero people who have ever gone on it.
I have about 4000 Facebook friends, give or take, and I could post right now "Have any of you ever wrestled a bear for money in a strip club built in an abandoned copper mine in the U.P., and if not any of my pals had, I guarantee one of their cousins did and has pictures. But no one I know or am separated from by Six Degrees of Canadian Bacon has ever skied down that jump, flown through the air and lived to go squirrel hunting that afternoon. That's what Nordic Combined is, isn't it ? A really dangerous way to get to a squirrel hunt ?
But lets say I won the lottery and bought a cabin up there and a helicopter to get to it.You know what we'd do ? Get drunk and play table tennis in my cabin, that's what. Then one of us would get good enough to go to the Olympics and he'd go and finish last, behind all 62 countries in Asia. But table tennis is still a sport in the Olympics! Is there a weird by-law in the Olympic charter that says you'll never eliminate any sport dominated by a nation with a monosyllabic language ?
Because discupelme, pro favor, but I have yet to see a ticker tape parade for the table tennis gold medalist through the streets of La Paz, comprende ?
Let's be serious, lots of people skate, but not too many figure skate. You don't go down to Campus Martius and see Nick from the induction molding department bangin' a few triple axles for fun before he heads to the Golden Grease to salchow down. But at least we sorta do it. No one who hasn't skipped school to get juonut on sahti with their favorite hottie in the Arctic Circle has ever purposely gone flying off a perfectly solid observation deck and then slalomed around the woods riddling outhouses with lead. We can't have softball, but they can have that ? One nation isn't dominant you say ? What? Do the Finns and Danes and Norwegians politely pass the Gold and Silver medals around every year, and whoever has the most umlauts in their last name takes home the bronze?
So here's one vote for softball to come back. Not because I'm a big softball fan, but because they got the boot for a bogus reason.
And I don't want Nordic Combined to be completely eliminated. I want it to be moved to the Paralympic Games. Because this guy would be bad ass at it, and bring home gold for the U.S.:
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