Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Check the Couch Cushions at Suite Level, I Think You Guys Can Fix This

Babe Ruth hit a home run every 11.76 at bats.  That's a little less than three average games. When he promised a sick kid a home run, he had a 33% chance of making good. More importantly,  with those gestures, he spawned a tradition of pro and college athletes interacting with chronically ill and disabled children in their communities. NCAA bowl activities for every college football team I have checked on so far includes a trip to a children's hospital. Certainly it's part of the PR machine, but out of these trips the occasional true friendship is forged ( I'm not gonna do your holiday Awww-grab-a-tissue reconnaissance for you, you'll find em if ya want to ). 
Today I heard about this disappointing, infuriating and not necessarily surprising piece of news:
http://kfoxtv.com/news/local/texas-cuts-350-million-in-medicaid-program.
The cuts directly impact various speech and occupational therapies that could affect 60,000 kids.
Sixty Thousand.Disabled. Kids. In a fucking sports obsessed state.
So say to me "That's too bad, Jimmy, but maybe Texas doesn't have the money. "
The same Texas that just spend 70 Million on a high school football stadium in McKinney. So, yeah, um, they might not have all of the 350 million, because kids who can throw and run and catch get to do so in a state of the art-- I'll repeat,( more as catharsis for myself than an insult to your reading comprehension) SEVENTY MILLION DOLLAR  facility while kids who can't run or throw or catch can go fuck themselves when they want to learn how to hold a fork or pronounce the word "touchdown" ?
I don't live in Texas and I don't vote in Texas. I sit on my ass and watch sports on TV in Michigan. And whilst doing so, two guys who own teams pop up on my screen quite a bit. Jerry Jones and Mark Cuban. Owners of the NFL's Dallas Cowboys and the NBA's  Dallas Mavericks.
These guys are colorful, give better interview than Charlie Sheen at the LAX arrival gate from Peru, and are not gonna be waiting by the mailbox so they can sprint up and cash their tax return at the party store.
Their shared passion is taking fantastically physically skilled young men and drafting them (yes, they have people who help them, but they are two of the most hands-on owners in the history of professional sports) to perform for their teams. These guys can't watch an American high school football game (Jones) or global amateur basketball game (Cuban) involving kids under the age of 18 without dreaming (Jonesin' ?) to have the most physically gifted kids one day play for their teams.
Same goes for their lesser known counterparts in baseball -MLB's Texas Rangers' Ray Davis,( net worth 2.6 Billion) and hockey- The NHL's Dallas Stars' Tom Gaglardi, (net worth 2.24 Billion).
The two latter gentlemen's leagues actually allow them to draft and sign minors to professional contracts. 17 year old kids and younger, who ostensibly attend high schools with kids who can't speak or walk, much less hit a curveball or skate. So,by gift of a healthy DNA helix, some kids become millionaires before they can legally vote while others who weren't so lucky are denied access to therapies that can improve their quality of life and in some cases help them find employment.
And we are not talking about a veto of proposed programs, we're talking about programs and therapies to which these kids have had access and to which they've become accustomed and rely on.
Go ask the Cowboys of the 70's glory teams and I'll bet most if not all of em managed to make the NFL without the benefit of the kind of facilities the kids will have in McKinney and other areas of Texas.
No one truly needs a 70 Million dollar stadium to play high school football...do I even have to finish typing the flip side of this coin ?
Healthy= new cleats, bright lights, whirlpools and weight rooms. Disabled= Sorry, Colt, your speech therapist ain't coming back. She's slinging chicken fried quail appetizers at AT&T Stadium during Cowboys games because the state is too broke to pay her. Sort of. (And I swear on Staubach's Naval Academy hat that chicken fried quail appetizers really are on the menu at AT&T).
Sixty thousand kids will be deprived of educational and therapeutic services while ninety one thousand plus blue star clad maniacs suck down $8.50 beers at Cowboys games until they sound like they need a speech therapist. Bow Hout Dem Curboys, indeed.
Don't mess with Texas ? Ok, I can't take on the whole damn state, but I can ask and I am asking the owners of Texas's pro sports franchises to do something.
Mr.Cuban, you make Joe Cocker look like the statue of Sam Houston when one of your guys gets fouled without a whistle, you cannot sit by and let disabled kids get fouled by Medicaid cuts.
Mr. Jones, I just saw highlights of your talented and ridiculously good looking grandson QBing his team to the Texas State High School  Football 5A Division Championship. You were happier than Michael Irvin at a Motel 6. I'm sure John worked very hard to attain his football goal, but he was given every resource imaginable to do so. Surely you agree that someone else's grandchild who just wants to work hard to propel his own wheelchair in front of the TV to watch Dak Prescott heave one to Dez Bryant should be offered the physical therapy to help him do so, correct ? You know how you can make that happen ? Cocktail parties with the world famous cheerleaders. Silver socks from one home game auctioned off. Countless ways you can chip away at this shortfall without even dipping into your own considerable financial resources.
Hey, Bob McNair of the Texans, (net worth 3.3 Billion). You're on the Board of Trustees of the Baylor College of Medicine. Betcha anything the faculty there has solid evidence of the benefits of therapy for disabled kids. You can't let your rival Jerry get all the good PR. Disrobe JJ Watt after a three sack game and your cronies in biotech will fall all over themselves to outbid each other for every item he wore. Through in Hopkins and a couple of the other guys, multiply it by 16, see where I'm going with this ?
Peter Holt, of the San Antonio Spurs, not only do you have more rings than every Liberace tribute show in Vegas, you're a decorated Vietnam Vet with a Silver Star. Bro. You didn't have to serve in Vietnam, your great granddad Benjamin invented the track-type tractor. So you're already a guy who goes above and beyond. You were Chairman of the United Way, which doesn't have a sterling rep, but it's still a charitable organization. An evening, dinner, drinks, etc. with Tim Duncan or David Robinson would pull huge corporate dinero and you know it way better than I do. Shit, an autographed Kawhi Leonard Fathead would probably fetch speech therapy for a month for a kid.
Jim Crane of the Astros, you're the new guy, but you're in that 2 billion dollar range, so you're not exactly Screech. You gave over a million bucks to both your high school and college in Missouri to have baseball fields named after you. That's good for the ego, my man, and I love baseball, but if you want to have a real impact in your adopted state, how about a little somethin' for kids who won't ever have the luxury of playing baseball like you did ? They say you wouldn't even have finished college if it wasn't for your baseball coach. Don't ya think some kids have that same kinda relationship with their physical therapist ? If ya can't answer that, can you tell me how much you paid to have the B-52's play your ex wife's birthday party ? I actually don't really care, I'm just pointing out that you could use this cosmic thing called the prestige of owning a major league baseball team to raise some dough for kids who truly, truly need it.
Do you get it, fellas ? 350 Million is a lot of money, but with a concerted effort--or for that matter, a competitive effort to see who can raise the most money-you are all capable of eradicating this problem. In the words of  The Simpson's Principal Skinner: "Make it a game". It's far more important than a game, but you guys have proven that you live for competition. You certainly have a better than 33% chance of success.
The kid that Babe Ruth most famously promised a home run for in the 1926 World Series was named Johnny Sylvester. He had osteomyelitis in his skull from a horseback riding accident.
The Babe wrote the promise on an autographed ball and he hit not one, but three.
Not only did Johnny recover, he graduated from Princeton and went on to be a business executive.
You guys have about 60,000 Johnny Sylvesters out there in Texas, waiting for you to hit them a home run.





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