Dan Gilbert, the burgermeister meisterburger of Downtown Detroit, and his pal Warren Buffet (who is like a really pleasant, old, caucasian Jay-Z when it comes to money) are offering one billion dollars to anyone who picks a perfect "March Madness" NCAA Tournament Bracket.
You can try your luck here:https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/quickenloansbracket/challenge/
On top of the billion dollars,you will also win your choice of one the following from me:
- I will go your job wearing your boss's college mascot costume and fart I Sin For A Living by The Meatmen* at them while I hand them your resignation letter.
-I will go to your student loan office and bring them your final payment with the last $200 in nickels in a garbage bag tied to my penis.
-I will move next door to your ex-spouse's house and trim bonsai trees naked, sunup to sundown from June 1st to August 1st. Trust me, this should be equally repulsive to both genders.
I can make these offers with a great deal of confidence because:
A. I'm a freak and would probably do something similar for a steak dinner and Tiger season tickets
B. You ain't gonna pick a perfect bracket. Nobody picks a perfect bracket. Sure someone wins every year, but they don't do it without watching Upper Mid Panhandle Methodist Tech send a major conference #3 seed home before the alumni leave the cocktail lounge at the airport.
So go for it, if you think you put the dick back in Vitale. It's gonna be fun to watch.
*I may even have a few members of The Meatmen join me, even though this blog is gonna be the first they've heard of it.
-
You can try your luck here:https://tournament.fantasysports.yahoo.com/quickenloansbracket/challenge/
On top of the billion dollars,you will also win your choice of one the following from me:
- I will go your job wearing your boss's college mascot costume and fart I Sin For A Living by The Meatmen* at them while I hand them your resignation letter.
-I will go to your student loan office and bring them your final payment with the last $200 in nickels in a garbage bag tied to my penis.
-I will move next door to your ex-spouse's house and trim bonsai trees naked, sunup to sundown from June 1st to August 1st. Trust me, this should be equally repulsive to both genders.
I can make these offers with a great deal of confidence because:
A. I'm a freak and would probably do something similar for a steak dinner and Tiger season tickets
B. You ain't gonna pick a perfect bracket. Nobody picks a perfect bracket. Sure someone wins every year, but they don't do it without watching Upper Mid Panhandle Methodist Tech send a major conference #3 seed home before the alumni leave the cocktail lounge at the airport.
So go for it, if you think you put the dick back in Vitale. It's gonna be fun to watch.
*I may even have a few members of The Meatmen join me, even though this blog is gonna be the first they've heard of it.
-
No comments:
Post a Comment